Cope With Grieving

Feelings come and go like the wind. When we grieve, feelings can be overwhelming. It can be hard to know how we feel. One moment things may even seem ok… or even good… Then the waves come and we are overcome with the unimaginable strength of our feelings.

Sometimes others are uncomfortable with feelings and want you to move too quickly out of feeling sad. But, sadness is a very normal part of grieving, as is anger, and loneliness, and so many other feelings. When we lose someone we love…feelings of all sorts come to the surface.

Feelings need no judgement. They are just what they are…”feelings”. They are to be honoured and felt in whatever way we need to feel them. When we pay attention to our feelings and allow ourselves to safely feel them, we find healing. When we ignore our feelings and expect ourselves to move too quickly through our grief, they will catch up with us later.

Make sure you give yourself and those around you permission to feel their grief. Don’t rush this process or let others rush it for you. If you find yourself stuck in your feelings ask someone to help you move through them.

Remember… BE with your feelings. Feel them. Let them move through you to healing.

There are so many ways to do this grieving process. One person manages it one way and another person in the very same type of situation…deals with it so differently. This is because we are truly very unique and come from such a variety of backgrounds.

People sometimes look at someone who is grieving and have some ideas about how they should be going through their process. Some might say, “move on…you are not moving on”, when it is only a few months since the death. Others might say, “you cannot do this or that so soon.”

Sometimes others are there to really help us to notice that we are not moving in healthier ways and they may be right. But at other times…this is just their agenda that doesn’t fit for us.

Although it is not wise to make major decisions when grieving, we are each so unique. What may be helpful for one may not be for another. It is wise to listen to our friends and then decide for ourselves if their thoughts are true for us.

In my experience with people who grieve…everyone has different needs. Some may grieve in a healthier way than others. Still, we all heal in different ways and in a different amount of time, from our emotional pain. We understand that this is the way with our bodies; why wouldn’t it be the same with our souls?

Sometimes we pressure ourselves to move forward when we are not ready and need to slow ourselves down. At other times we get a bit stuck in our grieving process and need someone to help us to gently move from that place. Still others might have turned to addictions or other things to cope…and need to get some help to allow their pain in a healthier manner.

There is no perfect way to grieve. There are just ways that are more healthy than others. We just need to honor our own process and our own feelings. Then we can make healthy choices that are healing for our soul.

Blessings as you gently follow your heart.