Cope With Grieving

Sometimes when we are grieving we hardly can get our bodies to move. Sometimes moving is the farthest thing from our minds. We just want to sit and curl up and pretend the day is not starting.

Most of us…even you…can put one very heavy foot before the other and move any ways. For the first while, every move can hurt when grief is so fresh with us.

Movement is important in the grieving process. It helps our grief to move. We need to move our bodies and as we do, our grieving souls begin to move.

We need to do some things even if our souls feel like they have been left behind. We may even need to force ourselves. Yet as we begin to move back into life… movement begins to feel easier.

I am a strong believer that as we move our bodies…our souls heal…even when we don’t think they are. Sometimes when we move we find ourselves crying especially on a walk or a run.

So go to the movie or for a walk or a drive. You are going to hurt anyways. Move the grief in you so it can heal.

Some days are just as they are. Some moments are just as they are. We have moments of “missing”. We have moments of laughter often followed by moments of extreme sadness. Then sometimes we experience an angry moment. Often these unexpected feelings come unawares, as if to sneak up on us.

These feelings are such natural parts of the grieving process although it sure may not feel like it at the time. Sometimes folks even feel like they are going nuts with the different emotions that seem to be so intense. Some feel afraid that they are going crazy. I have heard this lots. Yet you are experiencing some very, very normal things and so you are in very, very good company.

When your emotions and feelings come and go like this. Just move with them. When you need to feel sad…just do so (a good cry is so very good for the grieving soul). If you need to be mad…then be angry (Just don’t hurt anyone else in the process). Move graciously with your grief, honoring your feelings and your process.

When you feel overwhelmed just remind yourself that this is normal. You will survive this. You will indeed heal in time, if you allow and honour your feelings. Just take your grieving feelings with a deep breath of patience. May you feel the closeness of the loving arms of the “Healer of your Soul” in these dark times.

Often in the grieving process, things change from one day to the next, one moment to the next. It is even difficult to answer the question - “How are you doing?” As you might be fine that moment (whatever fine is) and not really sure the next. It is really such an unpredictable experience. At least it feels like it.

Some feel so victim to their feelings and circumstances. Others feel hopeless in the helplessness of it all. You might seem to be able to take charge and make choices that are healthy and even happy one moment. In the next moment you might feel like you are just plain shipwrecked and definitely sea-sick.

Just know that these kind of feelings are very normal. Just be with each experience, and know that you will move through it; if you are being healthy in it. When you are sad…be sad. When you are mad…be mad. And so on.

Just don’t allow your sadness to take over your whole being; as you will be creating helplessness. Don’t allow your anger to bring you to the place where you hurt yourself or others. You have more control over this process than you think. Your mind is a very powerful friend in this process.

Try to find a balance in your grieving and you will find balance in your grieving, hurting soul.

* The next time your sadness overwhelms you…feel it for a time, then allow yourself to move into doing something that brings life to your soul (even if you don’t feel that it is possible). It is amazing how this movement can help your feelings move too.